I usually don't think of the shift into summer as a time to stop and size things up and make changes. Fall and spring feel more like stocktaking times. We talk of fall clean up and spring-cleaning. Noticing the summer solstice has had the interesting result of offering me another time to figure out what's going on in my life, and what I can do to make the rhythms as good as they can be.
First insight: the entry of camp drop-off into my life has been noticeable. Since camp starts later than school, my husband can't do it. The baby has to nap earlier, and you know what, her waking time now corresponds not to having fun times together with plastic toys on the rug, but to sitting in the car seat and making funny noises while I can't see her. By the time we get home, she's nearly ready for her nap (she's still a child who doesn't stay awake for long). I was also used to having an hour of alone time in the morning while she naps. Now, that time is spent with my older daughter, making peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, serving breakfast, and folding the laundry. I do love having time with S while she's not rushing around to get ready for school. It's definitely more fun to say, "did you put your bathing suit on under your clothes?" than "You remembered to do your math homework, right?" But it's not the same as personal time alone. Just one day I want to put the baby down for her nap, and walk outside to our new hammock with a cup of coffee (well, in all honesty, it's a splash of coffee in a mug of warm soymilk) and enjoy ten minutes while there's still a breeze.
Second insight. Readers here know that I didn't weigh myself during pregnancy. I've continued that. Well, it's been quite easy, actually, since I don't have a scale at my home, and the only times I've made it to the Y this winter and spring have been while bringing my daughter S. to swim team practice. Were I inclined to check out the scale, you know I'm not stepping near it fully dressed, with a baby in a sling on my chest. With the summer solstice, though, I've realized I'm ready to slide down to my pre-baby weight. Ready to do some tummy crunches with regularity to regain a few muscles in my stomach. Ready to feel more active. A friend made the usual joke about looking great in a bathing suit. At 42, that's not really my big concern. Besides, bathing suits are so forgiving these days. There are so many cute skirty ones, and so many fashionable cover-ups, that it's not my major concern. It's more about feeling like I'm treating my body the way I really want to. That I'm focusing on health and energy. That feels good, so I thank the summer solstice for that.
Third insight. Weather matters. That lifesaving blue fleece sling I bought last winter that was so cozy when the weather was 35 degrees and rainy? Yes, I'm still using it. Spring 75 degree weather was fun, but it's been ridiculous to walk around town cuddled in fleece on 90 degree days. two days ago I went for a walk at midday, and I was covered in sweat in minutes. I realized that it didn't make sense to wait until September to act.
That afternoon I went straight away to my computer and ordered a summer sling. It came today--yes, I put out the extra money for two day delivery!--and what a dream to wear a white mesh sling that lets the air in to the baby and doesn't rest quite so heavily on me. Mothers: take care of yourselves, whatever your "sling" is, whatever it is that you're putting off that would make your life just a tad easier and more comfortable. Do it. Comfort matters.
So says the summer solstice.