Mothers Acting Up

Has anyone been in contact with the mothers at Mothers Acting Up? I just learned about them today, realizing that has life turned out differently, I would have been on a panel this October with Beth Osnes, one of the co-founders. I've signed up, I loved their description of what they do, and the tone of their website, with its Whisper, Sing, Yell, and Declare buttons. I've been thinking lately how to be a mom in the world, you know, not the mom I am at home, the mom who cares and cleans and cuddles and does all that, but about how to be a social mom. I don't feel like doing mom chat this time around. I haven't looked very hard for a playgroup, I veer away from discussions with other new moms about the details of sleep and food. I find it too hard to keep at bay the anxieties of other parents of young children, and the occasional competitive glance. I've learned that we all do parenting differently, and as much as I loved the camraderie of playground parenting the first time around, in my new neighborhood, anxiety seems to rule the day.

I'm trying to find a different model for being a mom in the world. One thing I'm doing is taking walks with the baby in her backpack, and using the time to talk with friends on the phone. My friends are scattered, and many that live nearby are working fulltime or parttime. In the forty-five minutes between kissing Samira off to the school bus, and saying good morning to the babysitter, I've been walking, and talking, thanks to the very excellent bluetooth device given me last week by my husband.

When technology's good, it's really good.

The 8 o'clock hour is commute time. Already this week and last I've had soul lifting conversations as I pass through the streets of our neighborhood and my friends wind their way through the morning commute.

The question of models for being a mom in the world really hit me the other day. Cooper Monroe, a mother in Pittsburgh, published a must-read article in the Pittsburgh Gazette, her hometown paper, about maternal profiling, or the way that mothers are discriminated against in hiring situtions. This particularly affects single mothers, due to employers' fears that the kids will make their employee health insurance costs skyrocket. Cooper followed her article with a blog entry at MomsRising and with an email sent out that asks all of us to contact legislators in Pennsylvania and ask them to help get a bill that would make maternal profiling illegal out of committee and onto the floor for a vote.

Mom activism still seems so weird, doesn't it, the idea that instead of going to playgroup we might go to politicians' offices. I've written about this before, and encouraged others. I've even written about how, here in PA, when you're home with your kids and frustrated, instead of yelling at your children, pick up the phone and call Rick Santorum's office, and yell there instead.

Still, when I read Cooper's email, and directions, I understood why it's so hard. I felt that "Oh, I could never do that!" feeling, beginning with how hard it is to even find the phone numbers to call. And the irony, I have no problem calling the offices of Representatives and Senators when I'm working on an article. As if calling as a journalist gives me more entree to their phone lines, their attention and their time than just being a mom. I write politically, but when it comes to doing this basic act of American democracy, I shutter my eyes and stop cold.

Let's see how I can change that. Next time, I'll write about what happens when I try. Maybe all of us can do that, try on the politically engaged vision of being a mother and a woman in our worlds.